In the rookie years of my coaching career amidst the chaos of his drinking, an unexpected lifeline emerged: Bo Eason's Mastermind group. It demanded nothing less than the absolute best from its participants. Yet, this was no ordinary chapter in my life. 

This group became a safe space where the toxic narratives that had constructed my inner walls became dismantled, and were replaced with empowering beliefs. The relationships I developed within this group required me to reconsider the house I lived in— both literally and figuratively.

Yet, financial pressures loomed large. The persistent pileup of pink and yellow bills served as a stark reminder that action was imperative. That's when destiny intervened in the form of an invitation from my kids' school: an opportunity to host and coach a boot camp for a charitable cause.

I Had Confidence in Everyone but Myself

Enrolled in the program were parents, many with athletic backgrounds. It marked my inaugural experience not only leading this group, but leading anyone.

During the Mastermind Q & A that week, I anxiously awaited my turn. When it finally arrived, I couldn't contain my unease, and amidst my conversation with Bo Eason I blurted out: 

“What Happens If I Fail?”

He responded, “What Happens If You Succeed?”

His words left me momentarily speechless— an uncommon occurrence for me. Meeting his gaze, I nodded in silent acknowledgment and briskly exited the auditorium. In that moment, clarity struck, and I knew exactly what I had to do.

I Feared Success More than Failure

Stepping onto the field for my inaugural coaching session the next day, an unusual sensation engulfed me. Bo's insight proved accurate:

I wasn't afraid of failing. Instead, my trepidation stemmed from the unknown territory of success.

This uncertainty made me uneasy, apprehensive, anxious, and left me with an electrifying sense of exhilaration all in one.

To my surprise, not only was the class a resounding success, but within two weeks, I secured a full-time position as a fitness coach at a local studio. Thus, my journey as a coach unfolded, marking what would become a pinnacle as one of my life's best experiences.

Fast Forward Eight Years to January 2024

Fast forward to the present, my coaching days are long behind me, replaced by the familiar glow of a computer screen for eight hours, much like many others.

However, recently I handed myself the torch of venturing into the unexplored or revisiting challenges of old. Today, that torch burned brightly.

During this morning’s training, the unexpected challenge of executing skaters on a sleek gym surface was thrown my way. Doubt crept in. I not only doubted my success, but anticipated falling on my face. 

And not a graceful fall, like hard. Like a linebacker hitting the 50 yard line, hard. 

It was clear in conversation with my coach that doing these skaters were non-negotiable. They were going to happen. I thought to myself I have three options:

  1. Run my mouth until I exhaust every ounce of my coach’s patience to the point he would want to light me on fire and just forget them. 

  1. Fake a sore throat, or a massive charley horse in my hamstring, rendering me unable.

  1. Simply shut up and do it.

Normally, I’d opt for option one or two. However, a promise to myself echoed. The one where I had just vowed to stretch beyond my comfort zone, and confront the uncomfortable possibility of success. Ya. That one.

So today, I chose the third option, echoing Maverick's timeless advice: "Don’t think, just do." So, that's precisely what I did.

Small Everyday Choices Are Sculpting Me into Someone New

Unlike a New Year's Resolution enthusiast, I thrive in the realm of daily accountability, persistently working towards improvement, no matter how incremental. My motto is quiet and simple: just keep going.

I knew the more I waited, or procrastinated, I knew the more my heart rate was going to skyrocket through the roof, and almost guarantee I’m going down. Finding a focal point in the background, I fixed my gaze on it, reminiscent of the intense focus during childbirth. Except, this time, no child was emerging. I was just skating.

In that moment, I allowed myself to shed self-doubt and embraced the exhilaration of feeling like a kid again. I discarded the negative inner dialogue that used to echo in my mind. It was a conscious decision— I was constructing a new mental residence, determined to live in a space free from self-imposed limitations.

My New House: Positivity and Confidence Only 

As I began skating, I was transported back to the age of eight when my brother thrust a hockey stick into my hands, offering no guidance, just a simple directive to skate. No figure skating routines like my friends; instead, I found joy in executing hockey stops, realizing they were far more thrilling.

In that moment, the room faded, and it was just my brother and me, ready for the playful body checks of yesterday.

Completing my skate, a sense of accomplishment enveloped me. It wasn't groundbreaking or a grand slam, but internally, a switch flipped, rekindling the spirit of my eight-year-old self in my mind.

Flip Your Switch to Success

Embrace the unknown. Don’t be afraid of failure. If it happens, it happens. I’m confident I’m still pretty great even if I fall on my face. 

A year ago, I might have hesitated, run my mouth, or concocted enough excuses to avoid the challenge. Today’s choice set my heart pounding into the unknown terrain of success, and reminded me of my bold eight-year-old self.

Embracing the unknown of success is like stepping onto a new ice rink. You're not entirely sure of what it holds, but there's an exhilarating freedom in stepping out and gliding forward. 

Diving into success means shedding the weight of self-doubt and letting the thrill of the unknown carry you. Skates and all.