August 19, 2021

Discussing “fight or flight” is a tough one to talk about, just because there is so much memory and emotion behind it. It’s a state of mind that affects your mental, emotional, and physical state. It took hold of me for almost a decade. The physical toll it took on my body was a silent life changer that did its work quietly without my noticing. 

My body got so used to being in this state, getting out of it was much tougher than expected

One would think that when the sick member of the family gets better, all would be well. That was not the case for me. When my husband got sober and there was so much support out there for him, he was able to get better faster if he did the work. For me, my mind and body was like “Oh, he’s ok now. We can rest. We stop fighting.” And stop fighting it did. But, not in a good way. My health started to change. I had two cancer scares, gained weight, and my sleep patterns were very off. 

It’s almost as if when your mind and body realize the other shoe is not going to fall, then you can crumble. 

Fight or flight mode is tough to shake and change. This feeling left me with constant stress, anxiety, and fear. Knowing what I know now, I could have done a better job of taking care of myself, talking with friends about the truth of my situation, and put myself first. I would do a lot of things differently now that I’m out of this mode. At the same time, it’s important to give yourself compassion and grace as you look back on all your mind, body, and soul went through for such an extensive and intensive period of time. The good news is I can now teach others how to give to themselves.

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